Sophie's Alabaster Box

Unforgiveness

2011-07-06T02:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to write for almost 2 years now for many reasons but most of all because of unforgiveness. This topic which I was going to write on was put in my heart in 2009 but I had issues with forgiving certain people and even myself that it felt so unnatural to write about something I didn't have victory in yet. I had read alot on the subject, searched the scriptures but when it came to me putting it into practise I just could not let go.

Have you been there? When you feel someone has done you bad and don't deserve your forgiveness especially when it seems they go on with life unaffected by anything and you suffer everyday? You feel they need to be punished for the injustice they have caused, they need to be as miserable as you are, they just need to pay....and so your thoughts become occupied with devising ways of making them get their comeuppance, or just imagining how it will be if they really suffered. You get some satisfaction in your imaginations and even try to find out from other people how they are doing always hoping to hear some bad news, and if there is how jolly you feel. You feel justified in your bitterness, you are also gratified in the person's suffering or your hopes that they are not having it easy too.
Unforgiveness changes who you are, you are no longer free, you are trapped in the very prison you want to creat for someone else. Isn't it funny how when we hurt people we really want to be forgiven but when it happens to us we find it difficult to let go?

I have seen a couple of quotes on friends facebook status that goes something like-"Unforgiveness is like letting someone who hurt you live rent free in your mind" or "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will die." The amazing thing about unforgiveness is that it only affects the person who refuses to forgive even though they were the ones that were wronged.
I picked up my lab top one evening and wrote a long letter to someone that had wronged me telling the person how I was now moving on with my life and how I had forgiven tehm totally of everything that I feel was done to me. I also asked for forgiveness if I had wronged them- I felt better immediately but I noticed after a while that my words and actions did not really reflect this forgiveness,I still talked about what had been done to me with alot of passion and resentment and then I realised that forgiveness is not a mental exercise but one that God must help us overcome- The very act of forgiving another person makes us like our heavenly father. Whether it's something you did or something that was done to you, the only way out of the prison of resentment is throught the door of forgiveness.

I am learning to talk to God about how I feel when someone hurts me- I CRY OUT TO HIM AND TRY TO EXPRESS HOW THE WRONG THAT HAS BEEN DONE MAKES ME FEEL. I have learnt that talking to people sometimes doesnot really help, infact it seems they fuel your bitterness by agreeing with you that you deserve justice, but bringing it to God is very different- He really understands, he saw what happened to you and there's no room for you to exaggerate(Which is what we tend to do when we talk to friends about what happened to us in a bid to draw more sympathy)and there you can ask for the grace to begin that process of forgiving- I say process because that is what I have found it to be.

The enemy wants to keep us children of God trapped in this sin of unforgiveness- It is an easy one to trap people in because it is one in which we feel justified that a wrong has been done to us. Many of us go around calling ourselves children of God but can't bear the sight of someone that has wronged us or pray that they are punished for what they did-Matthew 5:44-45 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous
Proverbs 20:22 Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.
Our refusal to forgive makes our offering unacceptable to God and in turn we can not expect to receive what we ask for in prayer-Matthew 5:24
Leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Unforgiveness is also the root of many physical diseases- Stress, depression, hypertension which leads to heart disease, substance abuse or prescription abuse (to get that sleep which you have deprived yourself from for years because you stay up in bed all night thinking about the injustice that was done to you) All sorts of eating disorders.
The bottom line is this- unforgiveness is a waste of our time here on earth- life is too short to spend even a second holding a grudge. Let it go,set yourself free,talk to God about it, don't give the devil a foothold to mess you about.

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

I heard Him speak to me

2009-11-10T16:32:00.000-08:00

God spoke to me today!
It made me cry for joy to hear Him speak....
In my heart, that's where I heard Him.
It happened as I read the word this morning and just now at night.
It's big news to me and you might ask? Don't you hear Him everyday?

No, I haven't heard from my King in a while....

Not that He wasn't speaking.....no, far from it.
I just wasn't listening.
I got caught up in all the drama called life.
The Job, the bills, playing "super mum",trying to get it all together,
Fear! Doubt! And without knowing it I was off the narrow road!
But in all the chaos, Lord I heard Your voice....in my heart.
It felt like a ton of weight was lifted off my back.
Lord, I love you!
Give me the strength to carry on.

"So do not fear, for I am with you:
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you:
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand ....."
Isaiah 41:10-14

I Love You Oh Lord

2009-09-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

I love You oh Lord!
With all my heart,
I love You
Awesome Wonder, Beautiful God
You are lovely Father,
So merciful, So kind to me.

I love You Oh Lord
With all my being,
I love You
For You have delievered me,
And dear Lord, You did it with a mighty hand

You put my enemies to shame,
Before their very eyes, You clothe me in righteousness
They are utterly dumbfounded
The fingers pointing at me in condemnation and ridicule
have shriveled up Oh Lord!
You shut the mouth of my accusers
They have nothing to say.

I love You oh Lord,
I truely love You
What You have done, no man could do for me
No angel could do it
Even those who bore me stood helpless.

I love You oh Lord,
With all my soul I love You
I am desperate to know You more
To see Your glory, Your majesty.
To see Him who bore my sins on the cross.

Thank You for the Blood!

The maze

2009-08-22T06:53:00.000-07:00

There's one way into a maze and one way out.
I have come to realise that life is a maze.
We are all born into this world and have to negotiate through it.
From the very moment a child is born, the journey begins,
We have all realised that there are many cross roads along this maze called life.
There are many signposts, all claming to be the right way.
Many times we really don't know which way to turn,
Many of us just take the next step by "instincts" or by a "hunch"
You'll hear statements like" I have a very good feeling about this" or "It just feels right"
Have you ever been at the crossroad and there is absolutely no one to help you?
I have been there and infact it is something that constantly happens everyday.
It can be a very distressing part of life especially if in the past you have made some very wrong turns. We live by the decisions we make and you can not blame anyone for any wrong move.
The truth is no one can claim to know the right way.
There are many crossroads in life, some are major decisions we must make that will determine the rest of our lives e.g career, marrige, what country to live etc.
Some are simple everyday life decisions and although they may seem small will ultimately make a big impact in the future e.g raising a child.
We have to admit, WE DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS!
Because of this uncertainty, we all look for ways to make sure we are doing the right thing.
We may ask our parents( not a bad thing as they might have past through similar challenges and will give genuine advice because they love you)
We may ask our friends(Who are also groping in the dark and can only give advice on what they feel is the right way.)
Some consult horoscopes, mediums, seers, psychics, the dead etc they are made to look so real by telling us things about our lives that no one else could possibly know and people become trapped in the maze by them and can not make any decision without consulting them.
They have seen your past but they don't know your future....they can only speculate and manipulate.
Some just get by everyday whether they are making the right decisions or not....they just get by.
This life is a maze and those who can not cope with it try to find a way out of it....I've seen it happen, I read it in the news, I see it on TV.
There is a way that seems right to a man but eventually it leads to death.(Proverbs 14:12)
The good news is THERE IS A GOD WHO SEES ABOVE THE MAZE. It all makes sense when one can look above the maze.
He knows the begining from the end.
He is ominiscient- He knows all things.
He said " I am God, and there is no other, I am God and there is none like Me. I make known the end from the begining, From ancient times, what is still to come. (Isaiah 46:9-10)
Infact He says of Himself " I am the Alpha and Omega, the Begining and the End.(Revelations 21:6)
He reaveals deep and hidden things, He knows what lies in the darkness and light dwells in Him.(Daniel 2:22)
He is perfect in knowledge(Job 37:16)
His understanding is infinite(Psalm 147:4-5)
His understanding no one can fanthom (Isaiah 40:28)
I am constantly overwhelmed at how much God knows about me....He knows the nitty gritty.(lol!)
David was so overwhelmed that he said " .....even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold O LORD! You know it all! (Psalm 139)

We go through life stressing and trying to do it on our own and so we fail.....sometimes we are lucky and just get by.
There are major decisions coming our way in life, we can't escape it, they will be decisions that will affect generations, we can't afford to go the wrong way.....we will waste valuable time being stuck in the maze.
We are not in control of our lives(we may think we are but we are not), It is not for man to direct his steps.(Jeremiah 10:23 CEV and NIV)
We must live a life dependent upon God for this is the only way to be safe. We must trust the Lord with all our hearts believing He is able and wise to do what is best.
I love Isaiah 50 vs 10-11. It explains the maze clearly:

"Let him who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the Lord
and rely on his God.
But now, all you who light fires
and provide yourselves with flaming torches,
go, and walk in the light of your fires
and of the torches you have set ablaze.
This is what you shall recieve from my hand:
You will lie down in torment."

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.(Proverbs 16:3)
With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgement. Always let Him lead you, and He will clear the road for you to follow.(Proverbs 3:5-6. CEV)

May the God who sees above the maze keep you all the days of your life, Amen!

At the well

2009-08-20T03:56:00.000-07:00

You know the samaritan woman....the one Jesus met at the well. She didn't have a good reputation, She came to the well at midday(ever been to Abuja in March at midday?40°C.....get the picture?) Didn't want to be confronted by anyone, she had been criticized, judged, mocked and with good reason.....she would have none of that anymore....so when everyone was indoors because of the harsh weather conditions she was out there.... I WAS OUT THERE.

He was out there too, I wasn't hoping to see anyone in this place...AT THIS TIME! I'll hurry up, mind my own business get my water and be off! My self preoccupation was interrupted by His voice.....that voice! There was a quality in that voice...It was clear, not mocking like the others.
"Would you give me a drink of water?"
Oh I get it now, He is like the others, they just want something from me....I'm always giving, never recieving.... I take a good look at Him.... there is something pure about Him, something that makes me feel unclean....but He does not condemn me....still
"Why do You ask me for anything" (I have nothing good to offer You).
He tells me if I know who He was asking me to give Him water , I would ask Him and He would give me living waters.
Living waters??? I look at Him and He hasn't even got a bucket to get His own water....where is He going to get the living waters from!
He says anyone that drinks from His "living waters" will never thirst.
I laugh...."give me some of that living water of yours so that I don't have to come here again" (don't want to come back here in the hot sun, here were I have been laughed at, here were people stand aback and whisper to themselves about me...the pain!)
"Go call your husband... and come back"
" I don't have a husband" I say.(Don't even want to talk about it)
"It is true what you have said....you have had five, and this one you are living with is not yours"
I am perplexed, the words don't seem to come out of my mouth clearly, HE KNOWS ME! He knows my secret sins...he knows.
I drop my pot of water (all I hold dear, all I am, all I've got left), I look at Him more intently. Who is this man?? How does He know so much about me? In my confusion I start to tell Him what I know about worship.... " I am generally a good person really, I go to church on sunday, I am kind to my neighbours, I try to pray...."
He stops me "A time is coming....and it is here when true worshippers will worship God in spirit and in truth"...
In sincereity of heart....no ceremonies, no self righteousness, they will worship Him from their very hearts, with gratitude, inspite of the circumstances.
I told Him I had always felt God's love as a child, I said I know one day He will help.... Then He said " I am He"
I was so overjoyed that He knew me, overjoyed at all He told me!
Now I run....I'm running to tell everyone .....The good news.

Lord I seek You

2009-08-17T16:43:00.001-07:00

Sweet Lord, I seek You
I seek You to be close to You
I want to hear the beating of Your heart
I seek You to understand You.....
I know I can never fully comprehend You...
but I seek You still
I'm lost without You!

I don't want to just hear about You,
Tired of being the third party
I want to know You for real.
I want to know Your will...
Hear Your voice....
I need You Lord!

Lord, I seek You.
You said if I seek with all my heart,
I'll find You, Lord You never lie.
I seek You for You are my maker,
You formed every part of me....
I am here for a purpose.....
Lord, reveal it to me!

Don't hide Your face LORD!
Teach me how to seek You,
For I don't even know how.
Give me a heart that desperately wants You.
Don't let me stop!
Until I've found You.

The issue of sin

2009-08-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

I have often wondered if I would ever make it to heaven, in fact there were times in my life when I actually gave up altogether. I used to say it is impossible to be truely pure before God. Many times the good I want to do, i don't do and the evil I don't want to do I see myself doing.(Romans 7:18-20)

I decided to be very sincere with God and took a good look at my life....By God's grace many things came to light. Have you ever read galatians 5:19-21? Now I don't know about you(I am being real here) but i've pretty much ticked most of the boxes. Verse 21 says that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Some people would say "You know what, I'm a good person, I try to live in peace with my neighbours,I'm not a bad person and even if I sin it's a small sin" I've got news for you! no matter how good you think you are or how good people think you are,the soul that sins is cut off from God.
Let me give a simple example, Jesus said "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:28) I have often wondered about this verse ......this is something that happens everyday to both men and women, young and old....it's something we could easily say is a small sin, afterall the act has not been comitted. So why did Jesus say this? Sin is a very funny thing....it always starts as a thought and if given grounds in our hearts it becomes sin.(James 1:15, Mark 7:21-22)

Sin is like a cancer, as a cancer would start with one cell, so sin will start with a single thought if it is given any root in our hearts, there is no telling what length it could grow to. I often wondered how a man like David, that loved the Lord with all his heart could first of all sleep with another man's wife then later go on to kill her husband......it all started with a small thought that at that time"didn't really matter". SIN BEGETS SIN, that's exactly what happened. The sin in the garden of eden was disobedience but today in the world we can all see how far that since has grown.

Why does God hate sin?
It was the very thing that was found in the heart of Lucifer(Ezekiel 28:15)
We are the object of God's love and sin hurts us. (Which of you will see something that can hurt your child and not hate it???)
It separates us from God because God is holy and will not behold iniquity.(Isaiah 59:1-2)
It was our sins that nailed Jesus to the cross.
It produces death both spritually and physically.

What does sin do to us?
It creates confusion.(Romans 1:28)
It causes stagnation, we never really move on when we are in sin( I realised this with the sin of unforgiveness)
It causes darkness.(Ephesians 5:8-14)
It causes fear....and the enemy feeds on fear.
It erodes your confidence.(Joshua 7:5)
It makes us compromise God's standards.(Romans 1:32)
It takes away God's presence from your life.(Judges 16:20)
It makes the heavens closed to your prayers(Psalm 66:18, Proverbs 1:28,Proverbs 28:9, Isaiah 1:15, John 9:31)
It will ultimately lead to eternity without God.(Revalations 22:15)

Can we really make it? What has God done about this issue?
I am so grateful to God for what He is teaching me about this problem, I thought it was a hopeless case, but God loves us more that we can even imagine. Jude :24 says it is Jesus who is able to keep us from falling and to present us unblemished,blameless, faultless before His glorious presence.
There is hope!!! God really wants to keep us clean.(Jeremiah 33:8, Hebrews 10:17,Ezekiel 37:23) Alleluia!!!!

Long before we ever thought about God, while we were deep in sin and without help, He already had a plan of salvation. He did it in Christ Jesus. He did it to demonstrate His extravagant love for us: while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. We have been saved from God's wrath because of the blood of Jesus.

What do we then do to keep this salvation we have recieved?
One thing I have learnt is that sin creats a legal ground for the devil to torment, believe me any opportunity we give to the devil, he'll seize it....because the time is short.
No matter how small the sin maybe, while it is still a thought deal with it. Don't allow it linger, don't let it take root. Confess it and ask God for the grace to live above sin.

Resist the devil by the word of God that you know(a good reason to read and meditate on God's word daily!)

The word of God is a very powerful tool, many of the psalms tell us the victory we can have if we hide God's word in our hearts.(Psalm 119 vs 9-11, vs 31,vs 36 vs 97-104, Psalm 37:31, Psalm 40:8)

Jesus taught us to pray everyday that God should deliever us from temptation so that we would not sin. (Matthew 6:13) We have to do this daily.

Paul summarises it very well when he tells us to crucify our flesh daily by taking up our cross.....yes "cross" because it is not something we naturally want to do. Walking in the spirit is the way to go! The spirit and the flesh are always waring against each other but it is a battle that the spirit must win if we are to be victorious.

I believe the reason I have struggled all my life is because I was ignorant and many of us are.
Can a child of God still conform to evil desires? a big YES! should we conform to them...NO! The word of God says" As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do. 1 Peter 1:14-15.

May our loving Father keep us safe all the days of our lives, so that we may dwell with him for all eternity! Amen!

The real issue of sin is eternal death!!!

It depends whose hands it's in!

2009-08-14T08:39:00.000-07:00

This is my second day blogging, I already had a topic for today in my mind, I knew what video I was going to add from youtube, I had it all planned out, that is, up until now.
Some one sent me a very interesting fowarded message that really got me thinking.....
The value of a thing depends on whose hands its in, for example,
A Nike T90 Pitch- premier league football goes for £10.75 on amazon, however a Middlesborough FC autographed football goes for £183.75.
I've got two tennis rackets in my store, they are worth about £9.99 each(much lower now actually) but in the hands of Serena Williams a racket is wimbledon victory!
A rod in my hand is simply a rod, but in Moses hands it parted a mighty sea.
A stone in a child's sling might hit a bird, but in David's hands it killed Goliath.
Two fish and five loaves in a boy's hands was his lunch, In God's hands it fed thousands.
Nails in my hands will put a picture on the wall, but in Jesus's hands it was salvation for all.....
So you see... it really depends on whose hands it's in.
Put all your dreams, relationships, concerns about the future and everything you hold dear in God's hands......because it makes a difference whose hands it's in.....

My Alabaster Box

2009-08-13T16:57:00.000-07:00

In the past few months, I have come to know a God that is so merciful, so kind, full of compassion and one who is constantly thinking about me. I have strayed many times from Him, gone my own way and totally disregarded His love. I have regarded His gentleness as weakness and always felt I could get away with having it my way. In my disobedience I was exposed though I did not realise it. I suffered a great deal......but in the mist of my calamity I called upon the Rock of ages......I felt my sins were too much and He would not hear me, but His mercy prevailed. He said "I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remenbers your sins no more. (Isaiah 43:25) .
Because I had sinned against Him, I bear the Lord's wrath until He pleads my case and establises my right, He will bring me out into the light, I will see His righteousness(Micah 7:9) Isn't that a lovely verse.....He is both the righteous Judge that punishes sin and He is my advocate that pleads my case, and it doesn't end there....He is my deliverer that brings me out into the light.
For this reason I pour my love on Him, I pour my tears on Him, for His mercy, for I have been greatly forgiven.